Botox for the Sensitive and Super Scared. One More True Experience.

I am 26 and I am a beautiholic. I started to wear mascara at the age of 14. I use La Prairie creams since my early 20s, and I almost never wear a tone on my face BUT cannot live without a good lip balm. I have to admit that it did really work as I don’t look my age and that makes me proud. I have always been hungry to learn more about the new things and treatments in the beauty industry. Above all, I vote for the natural beauty without any radical interference. However, that never stopped me from thinking about changing  the shape of my nose or have fake lashes done. Nevertheless, I know that rhinoplasty will not deal with my problems because I understand that post-operational period will steal my precious time and to be completely honest I AM WAY TOO SCARED. What turns the fake things – I don’t have time to take care about them, I better invest my time and money into facials, massages and luxury beauty products…but truly subjectively ME!

botox MonacoSo how I came up with the idea of Botox, you may ask. It was not a spontaneous decision – I will reply. About 3 years ago my cosmetologist, “My Skin Magician”, in Moscow told me about Botox as a preventive treatment for those youngsters who frown and wrinkle a lot cause of bad eyesight or long hours at the computer screen. That time I said “No, thank you, NO BOTOX for ME”. Although with time I started to notice that bad habit in myself and observed first wrinkles on my forehead. It was nothing bad but I didn’t want to see how it becomes deeper and deeper and started my long research how to deal with it. Creams, facials and attempts to “negotiate” with my forehead with a power of thought did not help. Then I had only one option left – Botox. You have to understand, that in my head, these injections is a radical method, but I sadly guess time came…and I started to look for a good doctor. In Moscow, the doctor (knowing how sensitive I am) suggested me to find a doctor in Monaco motivating her opinion that at least for one week it would be better not to fly, carry heavy things and change climate. I don’t stay longer than 5 days in my home town so I started to discuss it with my girlfriend in Monaco. I found the clinic and doctor where my good friend and partner in beauty crime did her implant operation. The doctor looked at my face and gave recommendation to do injections not only in the forehead but eye corners as well. I did not feel that I need any Botox around my eyes and refused. It was not a problem. I have no wrinkles in that area so that would have been already extremely radical and pointless. We made up an appointment on Thursday morning 9am.

For you information:

  1. I don’t want to say any pros and cons for Botox, it is absolutely personal decision. I just want to share my experience.
  2. I am really a very sensitive person, afraid of pain, injections and don’t like doctors. I can almost faint after blood test and if my dog is too active when sitting on my lap, not mentioning my personal fall or injury, I can have light bruises the next day.
  3. If you belong to that category of sensitive people like me, then read it carefully but don’t get scared, if not – just enjoy reading and smile.

How it was:

14.12.2013 – date of appointment, all night I was thinking: “maybe I should cancel it”!!!

7 A.M. – I woke up, took a shower, had my morning beauty treatments and ate my breakfast.

8 A.M. – in the car on my way…too much traffic in Nice, spent 30 minutes in traffic jam.

9 A.M. – arrived almost on time, went to the reception asked for the pain killer cream – they don’t have it…BAD…VERY BAD…getting scared.

9:15 A.M. – the doctor invites me to his room. Once again I mention how much I am afraid of pain and that I am afraid to move or do something wrong during injections because of PAIN. He looks carefully at me and gives me a prescription. I happily run to the pharmacy around the corner.

9:30 A.M. – back at the doctor’s. I sit into comfy chair, wrinkle my forehead, he marks points of injections and puts cream locally. 10 points…meaning 10 injections. I am scared and excited… have to wait 30 minutes… sending funny pictures to my girlfriends… with each minute getting more scared…

Around 10 A.M. – the doctor is back. He puts my chair into horizontal position and prepares everything. I am trying to control my fear thinking that if I can stand 40 minutes of constant pain while bikini waxing – I can survive one – two minutes of this and with the PAIN KILLER CREAM.

Injections: God, God, Gooooooooood… so so so so so so painful, very painful, way too painful….why am I doing this to myself….neeeeeeveeeeeer again!!!!!!!!!!……it is DONE…I start to feel weird taste in my mouth…doctor puts my head down and applies ice to my poor forehead…I am out of breath….trying to calm down…it is over. My doctors says “Bravo”…I don’t believe him…

Lost in time – I see my forehead in the mirror. Nothing… Really, no red spots, bruises or blood. I am still in the chair waiting to feel better…I feel really weak… but keep texting to my girlfriends.

10 minutes later – I leave the room and going to the reception to pay my 300 euros for terrible pain and hopes for a miracle… the receptionist sees that I don’t feel well and calls the doctor. He puts me into chair again…10 minutes I stay horizontal, then 5 minutes sitting…

Later – I was about to leave the clinic when I realized that I don’t feel well and can’t walk…fast heartbeat, sweating…calling the doctor…the doctor’s face is telling me that he worried…he sees such a reaction the first time…I told him I AM SENSITIVE…he puts me into a different room and I stay there lying and saying to myself “NEVER AGAIN”…the nurse brings me sweet strong coffee…

11:28 A.M. – I finally left the clinic and heading to my car…feeling miserable and thinking that my girlfriends are little betrayers to let me go alone…bad thoughts…but deep inside I am proud of myself that I did not die or cry…first smile on my face…

12:00 A.M. – home. Running to my laptop to write my impressions down!!!

We will see the result in couple of weeks…but right now, hour by hour, pain is stepping back, I feel better and getting ready to join a photo-shooting  this afternoon, not as a model, of course, but still…

Love yourself! Be healthy! Work on your beauty! Love your job! And don’t forget to smile and kiss your loved ones!

Truly yours,

Aksinia Khlamova.


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